Dealing with things politely and calmly is supposedly a hallmark of being British, but you wouldn’t know it these days.
Every time one response shift hands over to the next one, normally at 7am, 3pm and 10pm, it’s happy days for the controllers, all of a sudden you have a whole fresh shift to play with. Admittedly some are waiting for cars to come in from the previous shift, but at least no-ones tied up already.
So once we’ve had who is posted to what car, callsigns etc confirmed, out they all go. It’s not unusual to start handing out jobs at 3.30 pm and have totally run out of cars by 4.30pm or 5pm. Thus any new jobs that need an immediate response in the next 5 hours simply have to wait for someone to become free.
Currently (3am), the area I’m helping control tonight, we have 21 cars, 18 double crewed and 3 single crewed, all of whom are at jobs. There are 217 fresh jobs in the queue. So far, we’ve had :
Innumerable fights in the city centre. Hen nights gone wrong, random stupid people assaulting other random stupid people, all through alcohol, domestic assaults after and during nights out. One drunken idiot punches a mirror and cuts his hand to shreds during a domestic argument, then gets angry with the paramedics who come to help him. In the ensuing fracas, we end up putting him on the floor, injuring him more than he had been originally. Oh dear. How Sad. Never mind.
We have access to a good council controlled CCTV system, and watching the drunken mayhem on screen, I occasionally dream of having the cameras fitted with rifles and us having control. It would be a sensible setup, a twin-key system like they have in nuclear missile submarines so two of us would have to agree before we can open fire on people, but I can’t see the Chief Constable agreeing to it somehow. Oh well.
Two drunken gypsies locked in a house by a third drunken gypsy. In fairness, he was that smashed he probably just forgot they were there when he left, but listening to one of them rant and rave when they rang, it wasn’t going to end well for him when they got out. If you have to take one on, gypsies just do not give up fighting. Ever. No matter how badly they are outnumbered or hurt. They just DO NOT STOP.
One drunken car crash, another one probably drug induced. Drugs found in the second car indicate the driver is highly unlikely to come forward and claim it, so the crash will cost him his car, not just his no claims bonus.
Two armed robbers arrested off a motorbike for pointing a handgun at someone during their robbery. They crashed their bike while being chased by an armed response car, then legged it. Two 19 year old kids in tracksuit and trainers with a head start were caught on foot by the ARV crew, men in their late 30’s wearing heavy ballistic flak vests, carrying rifles, pistols, tasers, multiple radios, first aid gear, spare magazines, plus the usual baton, cuffs etc that normal officers carry, and running in uniform with boots on. Shame on you, kids, caught by someone twice your age.
A suspicious death, a muslim male in his early 40’s found dead in his home by family, apparently with drug paraphenalia around him. Ambulance tell us the family have already had his body moved to a funeral directors. Islamic funerals being what they are, they move fast, but they could have disturbed a crime scene. When ambulance get there, they soon clarify the ‘drug paraphenalia’ was medication, syringes etc prescribed by his doctor, nothing illegal, and there’s no suspicion of anything untoward.
Two idiots who ring to complain they answered an advert on CraigsList for someone who could duplicate money for a percentage of the proceeds. They brought £3,000 in cash, being told it would be duplicated to £6,000, and they and the guy they met would split the extra fifty-fifty. Surprisingly, the offenders contrived to keep the £3,000 for them selves, and leave these muppets with a box containing cardboard. They were gently reminded that trying to forge currency is a serious criminal offence, and they should speak to a solicitor before telling us anything more. If you want three grand, work for it like everyone else.
Last random job of the night, officers attend an address to arrest a male wanted for failing to appear at court. It’s a Sunday night, so he’ll be out of court by lunchtime tomorrow. But instead of being patient, he jumps out of a first floor window and lands badly, with major back pain. His girlfriend informs us he already has a fractured back from a previous accident, so instead of a 12 hour stay in custody and some free food, he’s condemned himself to potentially weeks in hospital (also with free food) and never being able to walk again. Genius.
Unit When Free 